The Evil Leprechaun Who Haunts My Apartment

Most people are unaware that there is a counterpart to the leprechaun in Irish mythology called the clurichaun. They are known to be surly, drunken little tricksters, mischievous fairies who usually haunt breweries and wine cellars and the like. Okay so he’s not really an “evil” leprechaun, per se. Just kind of a jerk.

Like leprechauns, they are known to guard hidden treasures. So I was pretty well convinced, being the mischievous bounders they are, that a clurichaun was responsible for the various items that had gone missing in my apartment of late with no plausible explanation.

The missing items included:

  • a flashlight I had used almost every night to read before I slept, which I would put in the same place every night when finished
  • one of my favorite caps which I bought because it reminded me of my grandfather
  • my favorite t-shirt, and the one tangible piece of memorabilia I brought home from my most enjoyable vacation
  • a whole damn card table

That last one is no joke. Months ago it occurred to me and my wife that neither of us had any idea where it was. We live in a two bedroom apartment, and the way we have our living space arranged, there really are very limited places to store such a thing, all of which would be quite visible.

Total mystery to both of us.

Then, about a week ago, as mysteriously as it disappeared, out of nowhere, my wife noticed the table, legs folded up, and leaning against the side of our living room sofa. Which we spend a good deal of time on, by the way. Then probably the next day, when doing some spring cleaning she discovered my flashlight in an area which was of course the most obvious place for it to be, but because of that, also the most scrutinized area in my previous search for it.

In any case, there it was.

Still no sign of my t-shirt or my cap. Maybe when the clurichaun gets bored with his mischief these treasures will be relinquished back to me.

Until then, because of how absolutely freakish the table’s reappearance was, I am reminded by this ordeal that human beings have an uncanny ability to not see what is right in front of their eyes.

Maybe if I approach my apartment from just the right angle, I will find my missing belongings.

Maybe if we all look at our lives from a different point of view, all of the missing pieces will come into view.

In any case, I don’t know what a clurichaun would be doing in our apartment. We don’t keep a lot of liquor around and none of what we have has gone missing.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day everyone.

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